I'm sitting here trying to organize myself for next week and suddenly it feels so overwhelming. It's a big week. Both kids will be starting their own adventures at school. And what's funny is I'm not terribly worried about the kids. They're both ready for this. I'm anxious as hell about my own plans, however. For the first time in 11 years (-that bit when Noah was in kindergarten and I was pregnant the whole time. Which doesn't count by the way. ) I have such big plans in the works and I'm busting at the seams to dive head first!
By now it shouldn't be hard to tell what I've been pouring a large chunk of my time into. I've spent the better part of a year trying to just find myself and through all the tears, meltdowns, panic attacks, and manic episodes I re-discovered the foundation I always build up from. All it takes is a pencil and a piece of paper and my soul is calmed. Don't think for though for a moment that I'm trying to paint this as a perfect portrait of serenity. I love my children, but that dejected look I get when I snap after the umpteenth interruption as I demand my 5 minutes to attempt some level of progress is getting old and I'm sure my constant grumbling isn't solving any problems either.
Despite my constant complaining I have to fess up to myself that I've done a pretty great job of doing my absolute best. Van Gough only sold 1 painting in his life and I've already done a considerable more in just a year so no matter what it's all positive right? ;)
Ah, late night ramblings...…..
